A Word from Andy Armstrong
“I am worthwhile. I am loveable. I am a precious child of God.” These are three affirmations that I recently asked a client, who suffers from very low self-esteem, to repeat every day. Even without these problems, these same affirmations are important for all of us.
In listening to people, I realize that shame is a significant problem for a lot of us. Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is a negative feeling about something that we have done that violates our values. It is an appropriate, adult response. It often prods of our consciences to change our ways and to make amends for what we did. Shame, on the other hand, is an assault on who we are. It may or may not have anything to do with what we have done. Shame simply says we are bad. It does not help us to make any positive changes. Instead it drains the confidence and energy that we need in order to change; it complicates and undermines our ability to have relationships; and it even suppresses our immune systems. Finally, it is a lie. (There are a lot of scripture passages, such as I Peter 2:9 that prove this.)
The first two affirmations rest on the third one. “I am a precious child of God.” Scripture repeatedly affirms the truth of this. Romans 8:16, 17, John 1:12, etc. We hear a lot today about self-esteem. There is no doubt that healthy self-esteem builds self-confidence and enables us to undertake new challenges. However, failure can shake the foundation of self-esteem. So, as Christians, it is a good idea to base our self-esteem on God-esteem. (John 15:16) God-esteem is a much more solid foundation than our own personal strengths and achievements. My nephew, Luke, has Downs Syndrome. In terms of personal accomplishment and material success, he has little to offer. On the contrary, he has had a number of health problems. His care has required a lot of time and effort from his parents and a good deal of public funds to pay for his medical attention. Looking at our usual measures of self-esteem, he has little to offer. But, with his openness, sincerity, faith, and compassion he touched many people’s lives. When his family celebrated his 30th birthday a few months ago, over 300 people came to his party. He is deeply loved.
This leads to the second affirmation, “I am loveable.” If you met Luke, you could probably understand why so many people came to his birthday. In his simplicity, he is obviously loveable. Sometimes, shame and expectations hide the fact that each of us also are loveable. Have you noticed how we coo and fuss over newborn infants? Other than an occasional smile (and I was told she was just having gas) when our granddaughter was a baby she did nothing to earn my love. Yet I loved and love her beyond description. That is the way we are created. John
Finally, we are worthwhile. God has declared it. Luke 12:6, 7 However, having worth or value means that we are to put it to use. God did not put us here just to take up space. Each of us has unique and important roles to play in God’s creation. In I Corinthians 12, Paul categorizes the spiritual gifts that God has given us and urges us to use them. Part of being worthwhile means putting God’s gifts into action. However, being imperfect, we make a lot of mistakes. Does that make us less worthwhile to God? I John 1:9 says that when we mess up, if we are honest with ourselves, others, and God, then God forgives us. The fact that He forgives us says that we must be worth the effort. So even when we fail to demonstrate our worth by doing what God asks us, God says we are worth forgiving. Either way, we are worthwhile. Does this sound a little confusing? It does to me. But, whether I can explain it or not, the truth is that we are worthwhile, loveable, and precious children of God.
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