My Journey With Jesus

I came to know Jesus right here in First Presbyterian Church as it has been my church home my entire life. Though I officially became a member in 1989, I've attended off and on since I was a very little girl. My parents were "two-fers", attending church on Christmas and Easter, and my earliest church memories were wearing a new holiday dress each time and falling asleep in the pew to Dr. Molyneaux's sermons. My mom's sister, my Aunt Marilyn Freeman, was a long time Chancel Choir member and she used to pick me up and bring me to Sunday school occasionally. I remember feeling a bit intimidated in Sunday school as I wasn't a regular attendee and therefore didn't know much about what was going on from week to week, but I received my 3rd grade Bible in October of 1968 and still have it.

I recall attending Pipe in junior high school once in a while with friends whose mothers would take turns driving us. I felt a continual pull to God's house and drove myself to church services in high school after getting my driver's license. After graduation, I pulled away from the church and stayed away during my 20s until the birth of my son, Daniel, at the age of 29. I wanted to raise my child in the church so Daniel James Clifford was baptized in August of 1989, and (finally!) his mom soon after in October. We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful children's program at First Pres., and Daniel was a full time participant, singing in the school of choirs, helping out in the Toddler Room (when he should have been in Sunday school!), performing solos in several musical programs and singing in the Praise Band in junior high.

As is often the case with our faith journeys, the separation of my marriage in 1997 was the real beginning of my relationship with the Lord. On my own for the first time with a small child to support, I remember going to my knees each night and telling God I had no where else to go but into His arms. As He is an ever faithful and loving Father, my dependence on Him was rewarded with blessings, strength and a determination to try my marriage again. After 11 long months, my husband and I reconciled and stayed married for another 5 years. Though we had tried again and I was convinced God wanted me to stay married, it was not to be. We separated again in March of 2003, and the divorce was final later that year. We parted amicably and shared custody of our son.

In 1999, I joined my first Bible study class, Disciple Bible Study, which was a 9 month commitment. Might as well jump right in the deep end! Reading over 70% of the Bible, I couldn't believe how much I learned and grew in the Lord. Jesus became not only a Savior, but a wonderful friend. I knew then that it was He who had  walked beside me through all of the difficulties and held my hand when I felt as if there were no one else around. Attending regular Bible study classes for the last 5 years has helped my faith increase and allowed me to get to know many wonderful ladies from within our church and several who attend other churches in the Flint area.

In 2004, I discovered the next thing our amazing God had in store for me when I met my husband Stephen. After we began dating, we were amazed at the coincidences in our lives as he had also grown up in First Pres., we had lived right around the corner from each other, and Steve had graduated with my older brother. In fact, our mothers were Cub Scout den mothers together back in the late 60s, and he and my brother were in the same pack! In July 2005, we were married at First Pres. and began a very bittersweet time in our marriage.

While we were so happy about our new life together, both of our children were experiencing extremely challenging and difficult periods in their lives. Just one month after our wedding, Steve's daughter, Sarah, had her jaw broken by the young man she had been dating for over 3 years. It was heartbreaking and difficult to watch her deal with the pain, both physical and emotional and the ensuing legal battles. Steve promised her that God was watching over her, He is involved, and if she would just trust in the Lord, He would show her the plan He had for her was better than what she had imagined for herself. After just 3 short years, (I can't believe how the time has flown!) she is engaged to Derek, a wonderful young man, and they will be married in our church in July 2010.

At almost exactly the same time, Daniel surprised us with a very negative reaction to our marriage and began a truly challenging rebellious period which I was not sure, at times, I would survive. There were many issues, but the worst was when he ran away for 3 days and no one knew where he was. The longest 3 days of my life, I found myself not just on my knees but flat on my face before God, again telling Him how helpless I was. This time, though, God had given me Stephen to support me, and he shared with me the same thing he did Sarah: God is involved in all  we do and I needed to trust Him; He would watch over Daniel and use this whole situation to teach all of us something. When Daniel came back, I then had to learn to accept the fact my son no longer wanted to live in the same house with me (us), and the next 15 months or so would be painful and difficult in ways I could not have imagined, even after going through my separation and divorce. Always encouraged by Steve and sustained by the Holy Spirit, at some point I finally came to the realization that the more I trusted God, the more He went out of His way, it seemed, to prove to me that I could!! We still have struggles just like any other family, but we are finally just that - a family.

Joshua 24:15 says, "Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve....but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord". What a privilege that we can! I strongly recommend it and promise you that God is involved in whatever we do. Let Him show you how if you allow Him to lead you, it's very likely His plans for you are better than you could ever have imagined.

Janice Baillie